Some residents in a housing community wanted more social contact, while others valued withdrawing. Regular communal dinners proposed by the board prompted different reactions. Some saw an opportunity to counter loneliness. Others feared participation would become an informal expectation. At a meeting they described how the same offer could feel both inviting and pressuring. The board trialled an arrangement without requiring explanations from nonparticipants. Smaller activities at different times were added. More people eventually participated, but not always the same ones. Community can become stronger by allowing different ways of belonging. Closeness does not necessarily mean frequent contact. Some only need to know help exists if required. An inclusive residential environment should not be measured merely by event attendance. It should also be assessed by whether residents can participate on their own terms while respecting others' boundaries.